This post was initially posted anonymously on a “no name” blog I was writing. I no longer can sustain having multiple blogs, so I am transferring some of the content here.
Reminder: This is my very personal opinion. You are free to disagree, but no hair pulling, please. 😀 Just politely state your opinion in the comment section! 😉
Who are the super Moms out there?
They are the women whose children are always neat, taught to behave perfectly, their houses always sparkle. Those women look fantastic, they are in perfect physical shape and are dressed impeccably. They look glamorous from the moment they open their eyes in the morning while still in bed. They are passionate lovers, interesting company. They also are on the top of their careers and specialists like them are hard to find.
Or wait! Those are the stereotypes movies sell us and we buy them without thinking. We try to keep up, we fail and we stigmatize ourselves as failures. We keep it to ourselves at first, but gradually, with time, when we start communicating closer with other women from our surroundings, we learn the truth – we are not alone in our aspirations and we are not alone in the inability to be perfect everywhere. It is not physically possible.
We become better in the areas of life where we emphasize more. The rest will have to wait.
But what qualifies you as a super Mom? Well, first you have to be a Mom. There is something grandiose happening when a woman becomes a Mom. I don’t mean to underestimate the women who are not Moms. It could be their choice or a result of circumstances, but I think there is nothing much “super” going on before a woman becomes a Mom (biological, foster, adoptive, regardless). Unless you save lives through your super profession, you are just a regular woman. And taking care of your partner/husband doesn’t count, because dear mothers-in-law, we don’t want to inherit your Mommy’s boys. We want men by our side, while we walk the path of life.
And no, not all women, who gave birth are “super” either.
What makes you a super Mom then? Whether you work (it is harder for those women) or not, you are a super Mom if your child/children are surrounded by love and respect. You are a super Mom, if you are doing your best. It doesn’t matter if perfection escapes you. In most cases it will. A super Mom creates a loving home. A super Mom gives good foundation to her child and enough space for them to spread their wings.
It doesn’t matter if you are a CEO, a janitor or a housewife. What matters is if you give your best to raise a decent person.
Don’t believe the stereotypes. Having a clean house is nice, but it is nicer and much more important to have a happy child. Put things into perspective and have your priorities right. Don’t feel guilty for that extra hour in the park, that you think you could spend mopping the kitchen floor and cleaning the cupboards. There will be enough time to mop and clean diligently when children grow older.
I hope to raise a child that is not ashamed of me, even if I work as a cleaner. I hope to raise a child that is respectful and compassionate.
We all have unique situations and circumstances, and we try to do our best with them. Hooray to all Moms, who give their best. A special hooray to the single Moms, who were dealt the hardest hand.
Many of the working Moms, I know, can either afford to hire help or have a piece or two of Grandmothers willing to assist. Does this make them less “super”. No! What makes some less “super” is the unwillingness to appreciate such type of help, taking it for granted and then pound their chest as if everything is their own effort. I hate such hypocrisy.
So back to super Moms. They simply do their best in their own specific conditions of life. A Mom is ready to move a mountain for her child. Do your best and don’t spoil your children. I don’t see anything “super” about a Mom, who acts like a slave to her 40-year-old-son. Create individuals. Create personalities. Create independent women and men. And don’t lose yourself so deep in motherhood, that you forget about your partner. Do your best as a Mom, but keep your personal space too. For your own sake and for the sake of your children. Much of the happiness of children depends on your happiness too.
I think this is all for today. Happy and blessed time with your children and family!